“For years, mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that “unless you love yourself, no one else will love you.”… The truth is you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.”—Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., “The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog”
“One of the saddest realities is most people never know when their lives have reached the summit. Only after it is over and we have some kind of perspective do we realize how good we had it a day, a month, five years ago. The walk together in the December snow, the phone call that changed everything, that lovely evening in the bar by the Aegean. Back then you thought “this is so nice”. Only later did you realize it was the rarest bliss.”—Jonathan Carroll
Many adults are put off when youngsters pose scientific questions. Children ask why the sun is yellow, or what a dream is, or how deep you can dig a hole, or when is the world’s birthday, or why we have toes.
Too many teachers and parents answer with irritation or ridicule, or quickly move on to something else. Why adults should pretend to omniscience before a five-year-old, I can’t for the life of me understand. What’s wrong with admitting that you don’t know? Children soon recognize that somehow this kind of question annoys many adults. A few more experiences like this, and another child has been lost to science.
There are many better responses. If we have an idea of the answer, we could try to explain. If we don’t, we could go to the encyclopedia or the library. Or we might say to the child: “I don’t know the answer. Maybe no one knows. Maybe when you grow up, you’ll be the first to find out.
“She said, ‘I’m so afraid.’ And I said, ‘why?,’ and she said, ‘Because I’m so profoundly happy. Happiness like this is frightening.’ I asked her why and she said, ‘They only let you be this happy if they’re preparing to take something from you.’”—Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner
“My whole life I’ve been telling myself: “don’t be afraid.” And it is only now that I’m realizing how stupid that is. Don’t be afraid. Like saying: “don’t move out of the way when someone tries to punch you” or “don’t flinch at the heat of a fire” or “don’t blink.” Don’t be human. I’m afraid. And you’re afraid and we’re all always going to be afraid. Because that’s the point. What I should be telling myself is: “be afraid, but do it anyway. Live anyway.””—(via wordsthat-speak)
“How many faces, how many bodies can you recognize, with your eyes closed, only by touching them ? Have you ever closed your eyes and acted unconsciously ? Or loved someone so blindly, you could almost feel their energy in a dark room and be moved by the powerful touch of their ideas ?”—Jean Baudrillard - Journal, 1981
“As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn good—I use it because I have to, but I don’t put any trust in it. We never understand each other.”—Marcel Duchamp
“I know a girl who can’t see out of her right eye
and doesn’t seem to mind. I know a girl who hides
behind her hair. I know a girl who fashions poems
out of matches. I know a girl who has been planning
her wedding since she was eight. I know a girl
who hasn’t seen her father in six years. I know a girl
who had a baby and won’t answer the phone
on Thursdays. I know a girl who doesn’t eat
because her mother is still telling her how to chew.
I know a girl who kisses with her eyes open.
I know a girl that got on a train and never came back.
I know a girl who tried to burn a church down
because they told her there is only one right way
to love. I know a girl who doesn’t lock her doors
at night. I know a girl who played hide and seek
for two years and had to come out because
everyone else stopped playing. I know a girl
who is getting older and broke all the mirrors
in her house. I know a girl who has forgotten
how to sleep alone. I know a girl who tried to be
important, and then gave up. I know a girl who
will become a statistic, a problem to solve.
I know a girl who will read this and then forget
that she read it.”—Kristina Haynes, “I Know a Girl”
“Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: ‘What does his voice sound like?’ ‘What games does he like best?’ ‘Does he collect butterflies?’ They ask: ‘How old is he?’ ‘How many brothers does he have?’ ‘How much does he weigh?’ ‘How much money does he have?’ Only then do they think they know him. If you tell grown-ups, ‘I saw a beautiful red brick house, with geraniums at the windows and doves at the roof…,’ they won’t be able to imagine such a house. You have to tell them, ‘I saw a house worth a thousand francs.’ Then they exclaim, ‘What a pretty house!’”—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
so now you’re about to turn twenty and the world hasn’t gotten any bigger for you. you’re untouched, unloved, unprepared. your parents still pay for your gas. your friends all have internships. one of them even got cast to be in a movie. you’ve got all this talent that you don’t know how to share. you just want to fuck someone, anyone, to feel a little less like an island. the man at the McDonald’s drive-thru held both sides of your hand when he handed you your change and you cried the entire way home. skin burns. you’re about to turn twenty and you feel like you’re fifteen. you sleep for fourteen hours and still need a nap. the world is shrinking one empty heartache at a time.
you’re scared you’ll never find anyone to love you, not even well. you’ll settle for anything.
you’re about to turn twenty and they never remind you how young that is. falling in love does not make you grow up, heartbreak does, and there is more than one way to fall apart.
you’re about to turn twenty and it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay if you aren’t ready. it’s okay.
“Do you ever think about all the people who you might have fallen in love with if only you’d taken a different way home or stood a little longer in the bread aisle at the supermarket? All the people who might have been an integral part of your life but instead you’ll never know them. The unimaginable impact that our mundane choices have on our lives really gets to me. Think of how many times I might have died if I’d made different choices. Maybe I’d be homeless. Maybe I’d be famous. Maybe I’d be rich. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the impact of my choices that I can’t choose anything at all because I’m afraid today will be the day that I make the choice that changes everything.”—Unknown
“People say I love you all the time - when they say, ‘take an umbrella, it’s raining,’ or ‘hurry back,’ or even ‘watch out, you’ll break your neck.’ There are hundreds of ways of wording it - you just have to listen for it, my dear.”—The Curious Savageby John Patrick